Ban CHAI from Offices : An Open Letter to Prime Minister

My Dear Prime Minister,
Namaskar.

Its 2 pm and I am typing this letter hiding from my boss. I am well aware, doing personal business at work is unethical, but the issue which I am addressing could be my personal opinion, but definitely has a direct relation to the workplace. I am, to everyone’s incredulity, want to plea to ban chai from offices.

Yes, CHAI! And I am saying this in best of my cognizance
Chai is single-handedly ruining the sanity, creativity, work-life balance, and top of everything is a noteworthy contributor to the GDP loss. Neither PWC nor CISCO has ever troubled themselves to calculate the GDP burden of the tea-breaks in offices
across the country. But believe me, the way employees frequently go on tea-breaks, the collective GDP loss, if ever analysed must be more than 10%. And, if there will be a list of top 10 obstacles hindering India to become the world’s number one country, Chai would be one of them for sure.

Creativity is another victim of chai because creativity requires concentration and chai-breaks always plays the role of concentration breaker. Every time I try to concentrate, there would be someone craving for tea will stand across my workstation and their generous invitation for chai ruins my entire thought process. And the worst part is that you can’t even refuse their offer, otherwise you will be judged big-time and tagged as antisocial for the rest of your life. And in extreme cases, can also become a potential topic of gossip amongst your colleagues for being so arrogant who declined CHAI. How on the earth, can a cup of liquid become the deciding factor about my social attitude?

And believe me, if Chai is evil then Pani with it is evilest. Chai-Pani is the most frequent term being used in offices. This normal sounding word has become camouflage for all form and level of bribery. Taking this into consideration, my earnest request to you will be to ban chai because Na Rahega Bans No Bajegi Bansuri.

Banning Chai from the offices has another great advantage i.e. time. If time is money then Chai is Casino bar or some high-rise five-star restaurants where we unnecessarily waste our precious time. Chai-breaks consist of five stages– Craving for tea, inviting, motivating and preparing a group of 3-4 people, having tea followed by a collaborative discussion on last tea until next tea. And if this is not enough, ask for Special Chai. For God’s grace can anyone tell me what is special about Special Chai which is served to everyone?

You won’t believe Sir, but chai is the primary reason for all the negativity in the office for the reason that workplace politics, bitching, gossips, peeping into others personal matters, ragging in the name of healthy jokes, etc. are the key motivators for employees to timely take such Chai-breaks.

Hereby, I request you, Sir, to ban chai from every office in India because Chai is standing between the dream of New India and us. We have to save our generations from the addiction of chai and unnecessary negativity that results out of these chai-breaks.

Yours respectfully,

Rahul Bhushan

Note:  Don’t take it seriously, even the writer didn’t.

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